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Archive for the category “During pregnancy”

The What If Monster

What if she’s not healthy? What if she stops breathing? What if I forgot to do up the buckle? What if I forget her in the car when I get to the store?

I had no idea I would become so paranoid when I got pregnant, and I surely didn’t think it would be possible for that  paranoia to increase once the baby came.

When I was pregnant I was much better at reining in these roaming thoughts. “You’re healthy, there have been no issues and there is nothing more you can do, what will happen will happen.” That was the mantra that brought me back to reality when the what ifs started. Now I practically have to slap myself to keep my mind from wandering too far down What If lane.

When we first moved the baby from the bassinet in our room to her own room I had the monitor up full blast and the video function on all night. This completely defeated the purpose of moving her. I got more sleep when she was grunting and farting a foot from my bed! Her room is next to ours and I can hear her as clear as day without the monitor but I insisted on sleeping with it one foot from my head.

In the month she’s been in her own room, I’ve since turn the volume down but I still sleep with the video on.

However, I still can’t go to sleep if checking on her isn’t the last thing I do before I got to bed. I’ve tried checking on her before I start my bedtime primping but it always ends with me laying in bed, looking at the monitor and making my husband hold his breath so I can hear her breath. “Shhhh, you’re breathing too loud! I can’t hear her.”  After a few minutes of straining to hear, I get up and check on her again. I’ve learned to pick my battles with the What If Monster and just make the bedtime sneak peak the last thing I do.

I’ve also pulled over while driving to check on her. It’s too quiet, what’s wrong? Admittedly, I only did this once but have resisted the urge more times than I can count.

I find it amazing that Dads don’t seem to have these issues? Why is this? Are they more rational than Moms?

There should be support groups for this stuff!

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Yep, she said that

Nobody warned me that people say stupid things to you once they find out about the little bundle of joy you are carrying around. And I mean foot-in-mouth type of things.

For example, when I was just past the sealed-lip  three month mark I started to tell people the official news I received many kudos and well wishes, and a few “I knew it!” remarks that were often followed by a comment about my now ginormous breasts, but there is one comment that I will never forget.

I had just walked into the early stages of a party. There were about 10 people there, all of which I knew but hadn’t seen in a while. I was feeling self conscious of the 10lbs I had gained in the first trimester but trying to not to let on by wearing a sparkly top and leggings. “Hey! Congrats” were the welcoming remarks I got from most of the ladies when I walked in. But there always has to be one person who really doesn’t know what to say and says the wrong thing. In her case it was, “Hey! I totally knew you were pregnant when I saw you last. Your boobs looked huge and your face had really started to fill out.”

When she saw me last, I was at the 11 week mark. I will admit, my boobs did get big fast, but my face? Really? Nobody else seemed to notice and if they did they sure weren’t dumb enough to say something.

Lucky for her, I was so shocked by her comment that I was speechless — not something that happens to me often.

Another great example was when my belly finally popped. Being of short stature, it seemed like my belly was ginormous when in actuality it was measuring textbook size. It just looked over sized for my frame. (For those of you who aren’t aware, your belly and weight is measured at each medical appointment to track how your baby is growing.)

When I was about seven months pregnant, a woman I worked with asked me for the 10th time when I was due. When I told her, she said, “Really? You look like your going to give birth in like, five minutes.” Of course, she added, “You look great, I just thought you were due earlier.”

Ahhh…nice save? No, not really.

Consider yourself warned. People–mostly women actually–will say stupid things to you when you’re pregnant, so start thinking up witty comebacks now.

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